Friday, September 9, 2011

This Is The Stuff That Just Really Makes Me Angry!!!!!

OK, so I have an anger management problem.....whatever! But let me relate to you what got my goat this morning. I get these complimentary Web MD magazines  to place in my waiting room. I notice one of the articles was entitled FOOD SMARTS: White House Chef's 5 Lunchbox Tips, on p. 44. So of course and once again against my better judgment, I flip over to page 44 and begin reading the article.

I really don't understand why I do this to myself. I know darn well that all the foods we shouldn't be eating are going to be listed, but what the hey....maybe this will be the day that I'll actually read an article where they got it right.......Unfortunately, this ain't the day. My comments will be italicized and in parentheses (like I need to tell you that :-) and below each day.....

OK, so let's go through the '5 Lunchbox Tips' that Master Chef  Sam Kiss of the Whitehouse proposes and how he wants to poison our children (by the way on p. 48 of this issue he is standing in front of our First Lady and it looks like they're doing the train dance or something).

MONDAY-Turkey wrap made with lettuce and a slice of cheddar cheese (hmmm, this sounds good, maybe they've finally got it?) on a whole-wheat tortilla  baby carrots, grapes and two small oatmeal cookies (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

Let's summarize Monday's mostly poisonous Lunch Box-Turkey wrap, lettuce and cheddar cheese--all good. Whole wheat tortilla, baby carrots, grapes and two small oatmeal cookies-all bad. Evidently the geniuses at the White House haven't a clue that sugar is sugar is sugar and accept the wolves in sheep's clothing.By allowing our children to eat the tortilla etc we are providing them with more sugar further perpetuating our obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cholesterol epi (pan) demic.

TUESDAY-Whole wheat pasta tossed with pesto (what the heck is pesto and what kid would even like it, I mean, really??!!),chopped cooked spinach, applesauce and two whole grain crackers (Huh?)

Our kids are like totally in trouble with this Tuesday meal! The only thing good for us here is the spinach, but then where's our protein, fat and cholesterol for this meal? Even the sugar found in the spinach, that's right there's sugar in spinach once the carbs are broken down. And yes, the body can convert even the sugar from spinach into cholesterol and fat. Don't believe me, then go back and relearn your biochemical pathways because I have no time for yopu right now! That's right yopu, I have no time for you.....ummmm, who's yopu??

WEDNESDAY-Sliced chicken on whole-wheat bread spread with hummus (WHAT KID OUT THERE LIKES HUMMUS??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!),small low sugar yogurt, baby carrots and two fig bars (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

OK, sliced chicken was a nice start but then, huh?!! I mean hummus for my kid, are you kidding me? Does anyone really even like hummus...disgusting. And then the rest of the poisonous lunch box is simply sugar and sugar and sugar...this is bad, really, really bad....How about you just pack a rattlesnake in the lunch box, it's a quicker way to get to where you're going to eventually wind up anyway.....

THURSDAY-Tiny sandwiches made with a dollop of tuna salad (why a 'dollop' that's the best part ya morons, aside from the possible mercury and arsenic toxicity...oh yeah, I just thought of another Dr. Jim original just in time for Halloween "What kind of witch likes deli-meat?"..."A sand-witch." Or, "What kind of witch likes the beach?" Yup, that's right, "A sand-witch." I'm so bloody clever....), between two cucumber slices (ahhhhh, I get the dollop now...anything more and you'll have a dollop on the floor...), kids can assemble them at lunch (not happening, trust me on this one), a quartered orange, two celery sticks filled with peanut butter, and two whole grain crackers.

OK, do I really even need to elaborate on this one..I just want to finish already.....

Thank God It's

 FRIDAY-Cheese quesadilla made with a whole wheat or vegetable tortilla, diced tomatoes, red pepper or your child's favorite vegetable (uh, huh, what would that be..spinach, broccoli?), an apple, a banana, and two small chocolate chip cookies (I mean like why do the chocolate chip cookies have to be small, make them extra-super-mega size...what's the difference, most of this lunch is sugar anyway)

 Not understanding that sugar is sugar is sugar lies at the foundation of this very disturbing weekly lunch menu. They might as well have created the following menu;

MONDAY-Ring ding.

TUESDAY-Devil dog.




It's the same thing; the same darn thing! Oh, I can hear some of you screaming "Wait, but there's chicken and cheddar cheese and peanut butter and tuna!!"  While you are correct and those are indeed our friends, the sugar content far outweighs any good this "White House' menu will provide. My final comment "Be afraid, very, very afraid as to where we are heading health-wise and do not adhere to the My Plate campaign."

Ahhhhh, I feel so much better now and thanks once again for listening to my rant for today! Now it's time to spell check :-) Have a great weekend everyone!

Dr jim 
Video of Correct Way to Eat
My Critique of USDA 2010 MisGuidelines
Interview w/ Andy & Pam 1290 AM CJBK London, ON

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious! But do you truly not know what pesto is? Pesto is really good! My three-year old actually does like it, but he uses it as a dip for roast chicken pieces. Blend up some olive oil, basil, pine nuts, garlic, and parmesan, till it's pasty. Add olive oil for consistency, and S&P to taste.